


If Crushes Were Easy, They'd Call Them Somethin' Else

by prettyboyblues (imdeansgirl)



Series: The College Years [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Mild Language, Not Actually Unrequited Love, One Shot, Secret Crush, finally making it a series, guess i seemed M.I.A, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 12:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2150922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imdeansgirl/pseuds/prettyboyblues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Remember, honey, denial ain't just a river in Egypt."</p><p>In which everyone says Derek Morgan has a crush, but he doesn't. Not at all. Not really. Almost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Crushes Were Easy, They'd Call Them Somethin' Else

Derek Morgan does not have a crush on a damn freshman.  


Not only is he a freshman—he is a virginal, nerdy freshman. He doesn’t even know the kid too well; he walked into his life at the beginning of the school year by accidentally walking right into his dorm room. They, somehow, managed to keep him around, and they all quickly became friends. But there is no way he’s taken a liking to the kid across the hall.  


But don’t quote him on that. Also, don’t ask David Rossi or Penelope Garcia about a damn thing—what do they know, anyway?  


Anyway, he guesses if he had to be teased for “liking” someone, he guess the kid isn’t that bad. He’s certainly easy on the eyes—gangly, and long, and pale, and incredibly pretty, so at least it’s something Derek can work with. Plus, he’s got a pretty nice personality too—he’s geeky, but he’s sweet; he even made friends with Penelope and Dave. Which is, you know, nice, considering they’re Morgan’s best friends.  


But he doesn’t have a crush. Or anything.  


But everyone says he does. Even his family—one day, in the last part of an out-of-the-blue-letter his sister Sarah sent him, she’d written: “PS: Who’s the lucky person this time?”  


His mother asked him about it, too, and both times he brushed the questions off. But when Penelope questions him, he finds he can’t lie his way out of this one.  


“So,” she says, sitting next to him on the couch. It’s Thursday, their Movie and Hot Cocoa Night. They have their hot chocolate and are settled under a blanket. It’s a cool autumn night, so the blanket isn’t way too hot, and Dave is out with one of his girlfriends—Carolyn, Emma, et cetera—which makes it a perfect night for this. The DVD player holds He’s Just Not That Into You—one of their (secretly) favorite movies. She’s paused for a few seconds, so Morgan thinks she just said it because, but then she says, “When are you gonna ask out Boy Genius?”  


He lifts his eyebrows and stares at her over the rim of his mug. “’Scuse me?”  


“You know. Junior G-Man. 187. Our resident freshman?” She motions to the hall. “Spencer.” He huffs. “Oh, please,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Everyone knows it’s going to happen. David, your mom, your sisters. Even Elle thinks it’s going to happen, and she’s never even met him.” Damn it Elle. She’s Penelope’s roommate, and another one of Derek’s good friends. And she’s always sticking her nose in other people’s business. “All you have to do is read the signs,” she continues. “I mean, I may not be directly involved with studying people for a living like you, but I have an impeccable intuition, and this falls directly under radar.”  


“Listen, Mama, you’re wrong,” he assures. “I have no feelings towards the beanpole across the hall.” She looks unimpressed. “I don’t! He’s just the skinny kid we accidentally met along the way.” She rolls her eyes. “Penelope…”  


“Derek.”  


“Don’t you think I would tell you if I did?”  


“Not if you don’t believe it yourself,” she quips. He huffs. “Remember, honey, denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.”  


“And superiority isn’t just a complex,” he replies. “Now shut it, all-knowing one, and we can watch ScarJo get her heart trampled. Again.”  


Penelope huffs and settles further back into the couch, but says nothing more. Derek can tell she’s holding back, but from what? He doesn’t have a crush on damn Pretty Boy.  


(And don’t ask him when he’s taken to calling him Pretty Boy. He’s not entirely sure.)  


The next night, Derek and Penelope hit the bar—which is usually just his scene, not hers, but whatever. She needed to get out after her last disastrous date, with the narcissistic beat-cop-in-training. So they sit at the bar, him nursing a beer and her with a vodka on the rocks. The dance music is overly loud and, frankly, unliked, particularly by Penelope, whose idea of music is totally skewed anyway, in Derek’s opinion. But even he can manage to agree that this just isn’t good.  


“Guy eyin’ you up, eleven o’ clock.”  


Derek glances in the general direction and spots him right away. He’s short and blond, with short hair and wide shoulders.  


“Meh. Not my type.” He takes another quick sweep with his eyes and spots another guy at the end of the bar. He has floppy, curly brown hair, wide eyes, and glasses, and he’s definitely checking out one of them. “Guy at the end of the bar,” he says, pulling his eyes away and back towards Penelope. “He’s definitely looking at one of us. Work your magic, Baby Girl.” Derek turns to look at him again and gauge his reaction as Penelope shifts to show her cleavage better. His eyes widen and—nope, definitely Penelope. “It’s you,” he announces, turning back towards her.  


She peer past him towards the guy, who blushes when they make eye contact and shifts his eyes. “Cute. I’m gonna go for it.” She hops off her barstool and pats him on the arm. “Wish me luck.”  


“Good luck.”  


“Here’s hoping you, too, find someone to make out with.”  


He huffs, but smiles, and watches as she makes her way to the end of the bar to talk to Mister Total Nerd. He then scans the bar once more. He sees a few girls checking him out, and one or two guys—most of them would usually be his type, but he’s not in the mood to do anything with anyone tonight. He’s not really feeling it nowadays—not sure why. When he first got to college, he was desperate for a relationship. Everyone predicted that he would still be the player he used to be in high school. They thought he’d experiment with drugs, alcohol. Ready to prove them wrong, he tried urgently to settle down. He had a few partners, all of which ended abruptly and didn’t last very long. After that, he went back to one night stands and playing. But he hasn’t done it that way yet this year, and isn’t really sure he wants to anyway.  


His eye catches on a scene going on across the bar. Would you look at that—it’s his favorite freshman, Spencer Reid. He’s pressed up against the bar, crowded in by another guy. This guy happens to be Tobias Hankel—loner, scum, and a real junkie. He’s always high, and usually just trouble. There’s even some rumors flying around that he killed his dad (not that Derek believes them, because who would let a guy like that into the local college?). Spencer looks uncomfortable and fidgety, Tobias looks just as sleazy as always. Derek scoots towards them, trying to listen in. “Um, I’m sorry, Tobias, but I’m just waiting for a friend right now,” Spencer’s saying. His body language is angled away from Tobias, his eyes shifty and vaguely alarmed.  


“Oh, c’mon, babe, don’t be like that,” Tobias answers. Which is really strange—Derek’s never heard him be that brass in his life. Tobias, when he’s not offering people drugs, is a meek kid; he seems like a totally different person right now.  


“Uh, sorry, I really am just waiting for someone. He should be here any minute.”  


Oh, God, this falls on him, doesn’t it? He figures it does, especially if he likes the kid as much as everyone says he does. He sighs, screws up his courage, and weaves his way through the crowd to save the kid from evil clutches.  


“Yo, Pretty Boy!”  


Both Tobias and Spencer’s heads whip toward him as he makes his way through the crowd towards them. He holds his arms out in a hug motion, and quickly engulfs Spencer in his arms. “Play along?” he whispers. Spencer gives a half nod, leading Derek to slap on a grin and backs out of the hug. He stands next to Spencer with his arm firmly around his shoulders. “Hey, Tobias!” He holds his hand out for Tobias to shake, which he does, with a frown. “He botherin’ you?” he asks Spencer.  


“No,” Tobias says, shaking his head. “No, I was just leaving. Later, Spencer.”  


Spencer waves, and they watch as Tobias walks off back into the crowd.  


“Sorry,” Derek sighs, as soon as Tobias is out of sight. He pulls his arm away and turns to face Spencer instead. “You just looked really uncomfortable with that guy. I figured I’d step in and help.”  


“Yeah, thank you, Derek,” Spencer says. “I’ve heard that guy’s into really weird stuff.”  


“I hear.” They’re silent, for a few moments, then Derek says, “That was pretty smart—lying about meeting someone here.”  


Spencer shakes his head. “I wasn’t lying. Aaron’s supposed to meet me here, but he was due a little while ago. When Tobias started talking to me, I sent him a message and asked him to save me, then brought him up in conversation. Thanks for coming to my rescue, though.”  


“Never a problem, Pretty Boy.” Silence again, until he shifts and awkwardly clears his throat. “Well, are you just uncomfortable with that in general?”  


“What?”  


“Guys. Hitting on you, you know.”  


He figures the answer is no, because he constantly hits on Spencer, and Spencer never shies away—but he never flirts back, either. He just kind of laughs, seems to brush it off. Who knows? All Derek knows is, if the kid is homophobic, he isn’t gonna pursue anything with him.  


Wait, whoa, where did that thought come from? He wants to pursue the kid? He doesn’t remember ever thinking that before—but he guess he has, because, apparently, it’s written all over his face. Without him even knowing it.  


Spencer shakes his head, abruptly shaking Derek back into the conversation. “No. I was just wary of Tobias’ sexual exploits. The case is quite the opposite, actually—I don’t believe in sexuality, I don’t have preferences. I’m a panromantic demisexual.”  


Now he’s lost him. “A pan-roman-huh demi-what?”  


Spencer snorts, almost inelegantly—but not quite. Somehow, still cute. (Wait, what. He just thought that.) “Panromantic means romantically attracted to all genders, or to people despite their gender. Demisexual means only sexually attracted to people I have an established connection with.”  


He just thought Spencer Reid was cute, so he decides, all the sudden, yes, he does have a crush on Spencer Reid, and yes, he does want a dumb relationship with the kid. So he jumps. “Does that mean I still have a chance?”  


Spencer’s face colors, and he raises his eyebrows. “Uh. What?” he squeaks.  


“I was just wondering if I had a chance. I mean, if not, I’ll totally back off—we can go back to being friends, the one-sided flirting, whatever.”  


“One… one-sided flirting?”  


Derek shrugs, ducks his head and shuffles in place. “You know. I call you Pretty Boy all the time, make sex jokes, banter.”  


“I thought that’s just the way you are!” Spencer yelps. “You act like that with Garcia all the time!”  


“Penelope and I have been friends for years—flirting just happens to be the way we are. I’m never like that with David, or Aaron.”  


“You asshole. You should’ve told me you were flirting.”  


Derek lifts his head and eyebrows. “’Scuse me?”  


“I would’ve said yes right away,” he admits, grinning. “So, yeah. I'd say you’ve got a chance.”  


Derek grins too. How could he deny his huge abundance of feelings towards Spencer Reid? “Can I take you out sometime?”  


Spencer lifts an eyebrow. “We’re out right now.”  


Derek laughs a little. “Then would you like to dance?”  


Spencer frowns, suddenly, and looks down at his phone. “Aaron will wonder where I am…”  


“Aaron Hotchner?” he asks. “The same guy who left you in the hands of Tobias Hankel?”  


Spencer grins. “Yeah. Okay. We can dance.”  


So they did.

**Author's Note:**

> There'll probably be more.


End file.
